Saturday, March 22, 2014

Convert Your Car into a Funmobile!

Recently, my daughter Emma twisted her knee while skiing. The MRI was proof that I was going to be her chauffeur for the next few weeks, since my wife was laboring as an art educator at another school.  That left me with two choices: I could whine or I could have fun.  After drying my tears and consuming a double-chocolate fudge muffin, I felt strong enough to opt for the fun.  So I told Emma that I would be happy to take her friends and her to school each day in my Funmobile.

Since the days when my children were sucking pacifiers, I’ve referred to my car as the Funmobile.  Of the two cars we own, the Funmobile is always the vehicle of choice.  Why?  Because it’s fun!  Here are three simple steps you can take to convert your car to a Funmobile at no cost in time or money whatsoever.

1. Call it a Funmobile (or something similar)

Shakespeare was dead wrong when he said, “A car if called by any other name would still smell greasy” (or words to that effect).  Just calling your car a Funmobile transforms it into a marvelous work and a wonder, and without any additional detailing.  In fact, a dirty car can be more fun than a clean car because you can write cool stuff on the back windshield like “Dad, you’re okay, but I love the Funmobile.”  Did you catch the attitude from that last statement about a dirty car?  That leads me to #2.

2. Exude positive energy

Get excited!  Be positive and enthusiastic.  Everything is fun.  “Only those who wanna have fun can ride in the Funmobile!”  Enthusiasm is infectious and once it starts spreading it’s hard to stop.  In one trip to school, Emma and her friends played “Corners.”  When I made a turn everyone would shift wildly to the side, crash into each other, and shriek at well over 85 decibels. I ask, in all honesty, What can be funner [sic] than that?  I’ll tell you what….

As word spread that the Funmobile existed, more kids showed up for rides (with parental permission).  One time, there were nine kids in my little four-seater. I told them to make sure they were all buckled in some way. I stated, while driving at 20 miles per hour, “We want to be safe. Otherwise, if we get into a crash, we’ll look like a can of Spaghettios.” Three passengers began singing, “Oh, oh, Spaghettios.”

When I stopped in front of the school, the Principal happened to be out front. Nine kids stepped out of my jocular jalopy one at a time like some kind of circus act.  The Principal was astounded.  I rolled down my window and said, “If you promise not to tell the cops, I’ll donate to the PTA.”  You see, everything is positive when you drive a Funmobile.  (Below is a photo of a re-enactment of the “circus act.”)

3. Look for fun opportunities

One of my favorites is to find secret routes.  One time, one of my passengers had to pick up something at Walmart.  Afterwards, I said, “Should we take the secret route?”  Well, duh!  So I drove around the back of Walmart past the loading docks. Everyone was delighted.

A word of caution: Don’t let things get out of hand or unsafe.  One time, some of my passengers rolled down their windows with the intent of hanging out.  I rolled the windows back up.  Safety is more important than fun; but even being safe is fun when you’re cruising in the Funmobile.  Keep living!

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