WARNING! Known side effects of this plan’s
implementation include a skyrocketing increase in your exuberance quotient that
may result in passionate joy levels that exceed what is socially acceptable in
polite company or even a rock concert.
Three steps to
body peace
Yes,
now you can pulverize your potbelly and enhance your health by following my
3-point crazy-simple plan based on moderation and horse sense. This is not a multi-level marketing plan or
any other religion. Most incredibly, it’s free! All other plans and products created since the
beginning of time to the present day will fail you because they do not include
the one vital ingredient that will ensure your success—a lifestyle change.
This
is not a quick fix, but the only plan in the known universe that actually works and provides amazing, Nirvanic results.
I have tested it on myself during the last several months and you can see from
the photo below that the results have been outstanding.
Okay,
okay, the photo is a dramatization, but even so, I feel like I wanna keep living. And
I’ll bet you do, too, so let’s get started!
1. Keep tip-top
with Trottier
The
one single thing that will improve your immune system, increase your energy,
and build your stamina is exercise…
-- Get back here
and read the rest of this! Don’t you
dare walk away just because I used the E-word.
Now sit down and read –
…and,
yes, exercise builds your energy levels; it just doesn’t feel like it when
you’re on that treadmill. Studies show that exercise, more than anything else, pumps up your health and elongates your longevity.
Ideally,
you should put in an hour a day about 4-5 days a week. But that’s not realistic, is it? So commit to something you can
do instead of whining about what you can’t do.
My minimum plan is 20 minutes aerobic and 20 minutes weight bearing 3
times a week. Experts say, “Ya gotta go
for at least 20 minutes.” Even if walking
is your exercise of choice, that’s better than sitting on your blubbery buns popping
bon bons.
2. Eat like a
pig, not like a hog
Studies
show that pigs, unlike hogs, don’t eat as much as humans think they do. In addition, pigs don’t smoke or do drugs,
don’t consume alcohol, and seldom drink soda pop. If you can’t give up the alcohol, just drink
a glass a week to dissolve the carbon from the valves. As to soft drinks, even
the diet stuff is not very good for you, plus it can make you burp. I try to limit myself to a root beer or Dr.
Pepper once in a while when it’s offered to me. The key to 6-pack abs is to get
rid of the 6-packs.
Choose
fish and chicken over red meat on occasion.
Sugar is the back-stabbing Delilah of good health, so cut back. Fruits and vegetables can be consumed in
unlimited quantities without fear of producing tree trunk thighs. Just reduce the amount of salad dressing and
sauces and you’ll also reduce your pork belly. This Reduction Principle that I invented applies to most every food.
For
example, I am on a low-salt diet, but I allow myself a piece of bacon about an
inch in length with my eggs. By the way,
keep the salt shaker in the cupboard or cut your perfunctory sprinklings in
half. Don’t eat after dinner. And face the truth—a restaurant serving is really
two servings. Ask for the doggy bag or do extra duty in the dojo.
The
bottom line? Reduce the amount you
currently drink and eat. Do what is
sensible for you. Don’t overdo the
deprivation of delectable delights you normally devour; just reduce the
quantity of delights you devour, and then devour them more deliberately. Remember, this is a lifestyle change.
If
you’ve been particularly purposeful, reward yourself with some ice cream, but
only half a dish. Get it? And add some fruit to it and you have the
Reduction Principle in full regalia.
3. A positive
attitude brings body peace
Shun
elevators. Take the stairs. Walk whenever you can and love it. The “love” part
is the positive attitude part. Be active. Visualize all the good you are doing to your body with each bite of that
wild Alaskan salmon and modest salad.
Say
to yourself, “I stand and stretch on the threshold of a new healthy lifestyle
and sublime body peace!” So drink water. And most importantly, keep living!
Photo
by musclebuilding-diet.com
