Tips for the Tricky Teacher

It’s “Back to School” time, and soon you will be getting clever excuses from some of your students.  Whether you are a teacher, parent, or manager, the following principles apply.

Handling excuses

It used to be “my dog ate the homework”; now it’s “my computer ate the homework” (a hard drive crash) or “my printer’s not working.” One excuse has not changed over the years, and that’s the famous “I forgot.” 

Courtesy www.i-am-bored.com

As a college instructor with three decades of experience, my empathetic response is generally, “That’s sad. You can still get the homework in with a late penalty.” And then I might ask, “What can you learn from this experience so that it doesn’t happen again?”  After the student says “I don’t know,” I might make some suggestions such as backing up files or, in the case of a broken printer, downloading your homework to a thumb drive and printing it somewhere else. If you can get a student to say this himself or herself, it will be much more powerful.

“But I had an opportunity to go to a One Direction concert last night.”  Your tricky response to that could be “I understand completely, and you can still get your assignment in with a late penalty.”  It doesn’t matter what the student says next; your response is this:  “I guess you had to make a choice. If I were you, I would have chosen the One Direction concert, too. I understand. Of course, our choices in life bring consequences.”  And then the follow-up: “What can you learn from this experience?”  After the student says “I don’t know,” you can point out that waiting to the last moment to do an assignment is risky, but that’s a choice, too.

My favorite excuse while teaching college was “my grandmother died.”  After checking with other instructors, I discovered that this woman’s grandmother had died five times over the past few years.  She just used the excuse over and over with different teachers and at different times.  I sat down with the student and asked her for the secret of life. She looked puzzled. “How do you get your grandmother to come back to life every class?  How many times has she died now?”  We had a good laugh, but she still faced the unexcused absence and the late homework penalty.

The great secret of education

We teachers teach students, not subjects, and that includes helping students understand certain things about life. The most important, from an educational standpoint is this:  You are responsible for you.  You are in charge of your life and your education.  My responsibility is to teach; your responsibility is to learn.

I often hear, “You gave me a bad grade.”  My response: “I don’t give grades.  You earn them.”  A person grows by accepting responsibility for their life without blaming others and circumstances.  If my own child gets a “crummy teacher,” my response is, “Good. You’ll have a crummy boss someday and this will teach you how to deal with that. 

One of my favorite questions came from a very capable young man, “What’s the minimum I have to do to get an A?”  Did he just say “minimum”?  Well, you earn an A by providing superior work, not by doing the minimum.  That’s an erroneous perception. 

I’ve seen students put great effort into trying to do as little as possible, creating excuses, and getting out of stuff (such as the dead grandma story).  I often congratulate them on their creativity, but also reason with them: “Well, you can always just do the work and learn something.”

Whether you are a teacher, parent, or manager, it’s important to think through your pre-emptive strike; that is, provide a clear explanation of expectations beforehand. Good luck in the new school year!

Keep teaching, keep learning, and keep living.

You Are a Pioneer!

Tomorrow is Pioneer Day in Utah, which celebrates the arrival of the first Mormon Pioneers in Salt Lake Valley. 

I am wondering, in what ways are you a pioneer?  As you know, pioneers explore, innovate, lead the way, or journey to unfamiliar places physically, mentally, spiritually, and/or emotionally.  Here are a few examples of what other pioneers have done:

-- Learn a musical instrument

-- Be the first to break the cycle of anger or abuse or poor parenting in your family

-- Use writing or art to express something worthwhile to others

-- Develop a new procedure or product or methodology for your company

-- Start a new company

-- Overcome a habit or addiction through a 12-step program or other method

-- Teach something useful and positive to your children or others

-- Forgive people from the past that have harmed you

-- Be the first to get a degree or advanced degree in your family

-- Decide to take responsibility for everything in your life rather than blame others or circumstances

-- Move to a new location

-- Create a plan to transition from your current work to what you know you should be doing, and then implement that plan.

-- Begin that fun hobby you’ve always wanted to try

-- Break out of a negative thinking or behavior pattern 

And there are many other ways to forge ahead and be a pioneer.

On this Pioneer Day, put some thought into how you have been a pioneer or how you are a pioneer or how you can become a pioneer.  Pioneers are courageous and optimistic. They plan ahead and are willing to do the work. 

To spur you on in your “journey,” you can listen to a song that was sung by Mormon Pioneers as they crossed the Plains, adapt it to your situation…and keep living!

Providence or Coincidence?

My teens had heard the story of Yorktown before, but a few days ago they saw it with their own eyes and were amazed. 

We were driving south on the Colonial Parkway and could see the Coleman Bridge ahead on the left connecting Yorktown (on the right) and Gloucester Point. 

“Cornwallis was waiting for the British navy to rescue him, but the French were waiting.  The Battle of the Capes was the only battle the British navy lost in over 350 years (1588-1941).”

“Wow, so then what?” my daughter asked while scanning for restaurants.

“Cornwallis decided to cross the river right about where the bridge is now.”

“That shouldn’t have been hard,” my son said as he gazed across the York River.

“Looks like it,” I agreed, “but a sudden gale turned back most of the boats, so Corwallis was stuck.  And, of course, he later surrendered.  If he had not surrendered, the war would have continued on, and the Colonies were in poor shape to continue fighting.”

We turned left onto the bridge and my children just stared down at the river as we crossed over to Gloucester Point.

“Washington thanked Providence, but I guess it could have been coincidence,” I remarked. 

After a moment of silence, I added, “Of course, I could tell you the stories of Long Island and Boston and—“

“—Dad,” they interrupted, “Can we just get something to eat?”  We all laughed because, after all, we've got to keep living. 

My Big Promotion

Decades ago, I was the company clerk in the U.S. Army Reserves.  I was my own version of Radar O’Reilly from M*A*S*H.  I controlled all things, including the company jeep, duty rosters, and the paperwork. And the Army operates on paperwork (in triplicate), especially when it’s not operating in the field. 

The epiphany

One day, it dawned on me.  Who types up all the orders?  Me.  Who has deserved a promotion for nearly a year?  Me.  And who has told me countless times I deserved a promotion, but is too lazy to initiate anything?  Captain Cappuccino, my commanding officer (name changed for his own protection).  In my military mind, the math was compelling and the moral imperative was apparent.

So I searched for an MOS (Military Occupation Specialty) slot that was open.  I knew Spanish and found an opening for “interpreter” to help interrogate Spanish-speaking prisoners.  Since we weren’t at war with Spain or Uruguay, the slot was ideal. 

The daring deed

I typed up the orders and left the signature line open for Captain Cappuccino.  I had a pile of about eight items for him to sign, so I stuck my orders in the middle of the pile and handed it over to my lazy bones C.O. for signatures, all the while engaging him in small talk about the deteriorating condition of the coffee machine, the only source of sustenance for the entire unit.

“I wish someone would fix that thing,” he remarked as he dashed off signatures. 

Getting my stripes

The day came for an official company meeting, the official company meeting.  The entire unit stood at “parade rest” in formation. Captain Cappuccino glanced at his paperwork and shouted, “Trottier, David, front and center!”

I marched to the captain, saluted respectfully, and stood at attention—chin up, chest out, stomach in. “Yes, sir.”

Then, he looked puzzled as he glanced through the paperwork (in triplicate). He whispered, “Did I promote you or something?” 

I did not panic; I was ready for the question. “That’s your signature right there, Sir, and I am most grateful.”

“Ah…okay, I see.  Hmm, well, Trottier, you earned it.  Carry on.”

“Thank you, Sir.”  I saluted, about-faced, and marched smartly back into formation. 

The aftermath

To this day, I don’t know if the good captain realized I had helped him do the right thing, or if he thought he had initiated the promotion himself.  He seemed content with what had happened.

After that, I became drunk with power. I unilaterally requisitioned a new coffee machine and surprised Captain Cappuccino with a dramatic unveiling, all at taxpayer expense. 

And now?  Now, I just march forward and keep living. 

Who Needs Rules?

Recently, two writing clients have expressed their irritation at formatting guidelines and the rules of grammar, spelling, and punctuation.  After all, shouldn’t a writer or anyone else be free to write any way he or she wants? 

It’s a good argument, and I’m buying it. People should be free to write in whatever manner they feel comfortable.  After all, it’s not like the arbitrary rules of English are like the Ten Commandments, although who needs those?  I should do whatever I feel like doing. I have my own path. And we can begin to be truly free by first abolishing the rules of punctuation, grammar, formatting, and spelling. 

Sins than Ive feel AWESUM free!!! 2, be a riter & rite weather u approve or, not & i lol @ ennyone who aint lik it asap i comm w/ any ya dont say or that fyi my stressload reduced greatly & that a, fact wanna me singin LIKE BIRDIES now i FREE to cre-ate + u can 2 by plunk down w/ me in protest & its duh new lazee fair! thoses are French words haha who can say 1 writing is better than another HUH u can c that now no 1 can judge

what does it matter example 1

Woman without her man, is nothing

example 2 same words w/ punctuation rules

Woman—without her, man is nothing.

what does it matter who needs themdumstupidrules!